What a miserable weather for the weekend... It's windy, wet, and cold. It's the perfect time to just relax at home in front of the fireplace with a nice glass of red after a relaxing massage. A perfect chance for me to sleep in too - something I haven't got to do very often recently... Before I jump into bed and enjoy myself, I thought I'd talk about a topic that has caught my intention in the last week or so; Commitment vs Selfishness.
Yes, it's a word feared by many, especially the male population. About a week ago or so, I read an article that hit the headlines on news websites, TV channels, and radio stations. A mother who tells the world that she regrets ever having her children. When I heard about it, I was appalled. How could a mother say that to the world knowing her children would read her words everywhere? Funnily enough, after reading the full article with her interview, I have to say that a part of me admire her honesty and, surprisingly, her commitment to her children.
Now, if any of you haven't read the full article, I suggest you do. Basically, she admitted that she's never been a maternal person who crave to be a mother like many women do. However, she declares her unconditional love for her children and her amazingly strong commitment to care for them. For everything she does in life, she always put her children first. Her children have never been left to the care of strangers, such as child care workers. Wait! before you all yell at me, let me clarify that I am not judging people who decide to take their children to child care. I completely understand that some people do not have much choice. As I've declared myself in this blog, I'll always be open and honest. While saying that, I respect everyone's choices as I am a firm believer that society needs to be more acceptable of differences that exist around them.
What I gathered from this article is the fact that this woman is so committed to her husband and children - a very rare characteristic of today's society especially in western world. I'm sure most of you have met someone who is the sweetest person and seems to be the perfect romantic partner only to be broken hearted when they walk away the moment the word "Commitment" slips into conversations. This "fear of commitment" epidemic can also be witnessed from the increase in divorce rates, the cases of abused children, etc. Sure, there are divorces due to genuine reasons such as adultery, abuse, etc but it's not what I'm discussing in this particular post. Unfortunately, even for those who declare their commitment to something or someone, the meaning of the word has been undermined. The moment something (that looks) better knocks on their door or someone (who seems) better comes along, most people use "Unhappiness" as an excuse to walk away. Sound familiar..? What about the saying "The grass is always greener on the other side"?
In a recent class of the spiritual course I've been attending recently, we're taught complete self-love and creating happiness within. It means that we need no external factors or other people to be happy. Of course, independence and self sufficiency are the ultimate ways of being. I mean how good does it feel to know that your ups and downs are all in your own hands? Well, sure life often throws you surprises - good and bad. I'm talking about making every decision for whatever life throws at you without consideration for anyone else's feelings or interests. Then when someone comes along, we often refuse to compromise. But what if this independence and self-sufficiency become lack of compromise, sensitivity towards others, and it often becomes selfishness..?
Relationships, whether it be with your parents, friends, co-workers, or romantic partners, involve two or more parties. Do we remind ourselves enough that there are no two people in this world who's 100% alike or compatible? Do we remember often enough that efforts are actually consideration for other people's feelings and needs? That compromise equals genuine love? Have we been skewed by the unrealistic (fantasy) expectations that relationships should just work well and things will just be wonderful without much efforts if two (or more) people are born to be connected? Selfishness (or any lack-of-efforts and no-compromise attitudes) of ours often causes heartaches and loss of connections to loved ones. Commitment, on the other hand, keeps strong bond with those who mean a lot to us. So, is commitment really that scary? Or is commitment actually a declaration of love and affections that creates happiness between people?
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